Chapter 4: Missing the house. Forget the people.

We are once again moving, hopefully to a new place in Wimbledon by this weekend. I don’t even want to go into the amount of stress, anxiety, anger and delirium that both Thuy and I went through to get this place. We’re still slightly disbelieving until we actually walk into this house, plant our stuff down and then nail boards to the door of the house so that no land lord can Ever EVER drag us out!

The house it self is wonderfully located next to all the shops I like to shop at (I have on my big cheesy grin right now). It’s also close to a park where I can do my fitness thing AND close to Al forno, our favorite pasta place here in London. But it’s no place like home. As in home home.

I guess I might be a little bit more sick of the whole moving thing simply because I have made 4 moves in the last 6 months. First from Australia to a temporary 1 week stay with friends, then to Richmond, then to Birmingham (which I’m still half living at) and now Wimbledon. I hope this will be my last before I return back to Australia. I’m thinking I wont be so lucky.

I was flicking through FB the other day and saw photos of my friends partying it up at my home back in oz. I wanted to cry. There was my kitchen, small and neat and oh! my backyard patio with the 6 burner BBQ, and the brown sofa that I had got for so cheap at an auction, the amount of space! God. Even the bloody carpet bought tears to my eyes. And the people in the photos? Well forget the people, they could never shelter you the way a house can.

Anyway, the point is - I used to just miss everyone back home but now I miss everyone back home PLUS the bloody house too. Moving houses just exacerbates it all.

Cancer Research UK

As an occupational therapist, I get to work with various caseloads where my role is to essentially help patients to become independent so that they can go home, stay home and never come back (ideally I'd like to never see them again unless they come in as visitors). My work with oncology/palliative patients is quite similiar in the sense that I get them home as soon as possible and I try to maximise their independence at home. The only difference is, I'm getting them home so that they can die at home. But the worst part of living with terminal cancer does not start here.

It starts with the doctor telling them that their prognosis is not good, that treatment is not a guarantee, that it may prolong their time but at the cost of their quality of life. No matter how you look at it. It's not good. In any case, it then starts with hospital visits for symptom management. Short and sporadic vists which eventually turn into longer and more frequent hospital stays. Pain. Nausea. Loss of appetite. And the fatigue that comes with it! Hospital stays are never pleasant, there are so many pills, so many tests and so many health professionals to deal with. The worst is when they begin to lose their independence. Suddenly something that used to be so simple, like walking to the toilet, is like running a marathon. Through all of this, their family is suffering too. Then they meet me. I help the family to set up their home, I teach their family how to use the equipment and give advice to help them cope with caring for their loved one during their final days. Another person loses the battle to cancer. This happens way too often.

Wouldn't it be better if we could just find a prevention or cure to avoid all of this?
Which is what Cancer Research UK is all about - finding new ways to prevent, diagnose and treat cancer to save more lives.

I have lost both my grandma and uncle to this disease. I am so sure that if not you directly, you will have known someone who is either living with it, passed away from it, is being affected by it or has been affected by it. Afterall, cancer is the leading cause of death worldwide (WHO 2004). So everyone please reach into your pockets and sponsor me by donating your money to Cancer Research UK.

Please click on the link below to sposnsor me:
http://www.run10ksponsorme.org/minhtran

Thank you Auntie

I used to call her Auntie every time I came around to hang with Jenny Tham and every time I did come - she would, without a doubt, be happy, cheery and always so welcome. Now that she is gone, all I could think about was how much I wish I had taken that extra step to get past that superficial chit chat, to be able to appreciate all the things that people have said about her, to really have just gotten to know her. But then I thought to myself, well…hang on a minute. Actually I do know her, I know her really well, I know her because I can see her in Jenny and Lisa Tham.

Those values and personality characteristics both women exhibit ? … family oriented, loving, caring, considerate, kind hearted, generous, easy going and many more… That was you Auntie. All of it. I just want you to know that you have left an incredible legacy behind. Not one, but two living and breathing representations of how a lot of us should be but are not. But that’s not all, you left us with one more gift - a reminder for us all to learn not to take our loved ones for granted, that time is not indefinite, to appreciate all that life has to offer and to love everything in it.

So thank you Auntie. You have left an amazing legacy behind, your two beautiful daughters. Through them you will always be remembered.

Chapter 3: Happy as a Chappy.

Ok so moving on from the setting up stage and moving even further past the making friends bit and getting me some moola. Where am I now? Well…my gorgeous room will no longer be affordable, I am slightly less friendless and I'm on holiday until further notice.

Gorgeous room becoming a bit of a high maintenance girlfriend
Sam, our questionable landlord, decided to drop in last Sunday. Thought he’d stop by to say hello and ramble on about his younger years and how awesome he was. Amidst all that useless chatter (and us kissing his butt so that he would extend our lease) he also briefly mentioned that the rent would increase an extra 115 pounds per person. I looked at Thuy and she looked back at me - I knew that look. We were both punching Sam in the face. Only in our minds though. Damn him. Time to house hunt again.

Just when I started to make it homey too

I’m only slightly less friendless
Making friends is hard work. I’d like to think of it as a three part process, quite similar to how men pick up women. Some boys label each stage as the “start game, middle game and end game“, which I think perfectly describes the process of friendship making. lol

Start game: This is where you either make or break. Your potential friendship heavily relies on this initial contact. Generally you would start socializing in a group. You would target the ones who you find interesting. Then, you need to make a good impression by conversing appropriately, maintaining their interest, looking like you’re interested, being funny, having a good fake laugh so that they think they’re funny, avoiding looking too eager, but most importantly being cool. Being very cool. No pressure at all. I think I have this stage down pat. I’m really good at it especially when I’m drunk. Although people do tell me that when you’re drunk your perception is greatly distorted. Ohhh maybe that’s why I never get past this stage Oh! So that's why Carmela never got back to me.

Middle game: This is where you move in for the kill. They’re interested, you’re interested. It’s time to build a foundation for the friendship to build. I think it’s at this stage you start to discuss interests and hobbies and find common ground so that you can connect without having to rely on the person who introduced you or on the group. Yes. kinda like making the cream between two biscuit bits to make a cookie. Like I said, I rarely get to this stage.

End game: Well according to boys this may mean sex is involved or getting a number. This is also the same for friendship making. Oh. Except for the sex. Have I been successful in friendship making? The answer is yes. Once. I have a friend from London and more importantly, she still is my friend today. What did I tell you? I’m only slightly less friendless.

You’re stuck now wing Lau.

On Holiday until further notice.

So my era of denying really old frail people wheelchairs is at end at the wheelchair service. Such a shame because I was, I feel, at the peak of my reign here. What? Don’t look at me like I’m cruel - you’d think that by their age (especially those 107 yr olds) they’d have learnt how to walk on their hands by now! So asking for a wheelchair is a bit much, don’t you think? Lol. I am so going to hell.

Ok, on a more serious note though. I was really lucky to have stayed here for so long. Generally, locum positions don’t last longer than 4 - 6 weeks and I was here for 4 whole months. A real blessing for my finances but damn it really sucks when you have to move on (especially when you actually start to like the people you work with). Give me enough time in a place and emotional attachment is bound to happen with me. Yuck. So… finding another locum position does not look too easy at the moment - the job market here for locums have slowed right down. Something to do with budget cuts and lack of finances - usual shit. Next plan of action? Well.. Because I have a shopping problem and because I am a bit of a pansy when I work in a place long enough, I have decided to opt for a permanent position as it will best meet my needs.

Well then. I guess I am on holiday until further notice

In summary…
I may be back in square 1 (jobless and soon to be homeless) but life has never been better :)

Chewbacca

My dog just died today (16/6/10).

Named after the ugly hairy wookiee beast on star wars because that's exactly what he looked like. We got him in 1996. An apricot coloured shihtzu. I remember we chose him because when they let him out he just ran around the pet store, completely ignored us and jumped into the toy bin. He was so naughty, always doing his own thing, always expecting US to crawl to him for cuddles. It's not that he didn't like cuddles, I think he was just lazy. He would just sit in front of us rolling around, stretching out and looking so cute until we would give in and go to him.

Dad let him get away with so much, when caught out being straight out naughty he would roll onto his back and stick all four paws up in the air. This worked everytime with my dad, but not with me. I tried to unsuccessfully discipline him with various forms of punishment, from smacking, yelling, stomping my feet to trying to reason with him (this one never worked). You name it, I tried it but he was still so naughty. Finally it was dishing out 'timeout' that was most effective. He hated sitting in a corner and would try all he could to get out of it (sneak off, look extremely cute etc) which would work if dad was giving him the time out. But it never worked with me.

He was such a chilled out dog, not a care in the world. When other dogs were around he'd be like 'whatever'. He'd rather hang with us then other dogs (probably because he knew we could give him food). But nonetheless he was so cool.
But now my beautiful, gorgeous and full of character pup has left our family. Thanks Chewii for all the joy and laughter you bought to us, we were lucky we had you for 14 years.

I’m above average

Did you know that it is a statistical fact that close friends are harder to find?

Apparently a study by sociologists at Duke University and the University of Arizona concluded that Americans had an average of ONLY 2 close friends as of 2004. Not that I’m American or anything, but I think this does highlight how precious close friends are.

So I wanted to take this opportunity

to brag,

to boast,

to show off,

to tell everyone just how lucky I am because I don’t have just 1, or 2 or even 3 close friends. I actually have 4. And not just 4 close friends, but 4 best friends.

For the first time in my life, I am actually above average for something.

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Best friend 1: Jenny Tham

Nickname: Jenny Tham

Where did we meet? Highschool

First impression? I thought she was a bitch because she had a bitchy look

One word to describe? Lame

Why is she my best friend? There is noone like Jenny Tham. Jenny is the most beautiful, caring, generous and loyal person I have ever met. She really bends over backwards for her friends. If ever you were down, she’d find ways to cheer you up. She is a fantastic conversationalist and has a heart of gold. What you see is what you get with Jenny Tham.

Best friend 2: Rita Nsubuga

Nick name: Ri

Where did we meet? Highschool

First impression? Damn she's got nice hair!

One word to describe? Feisty

Why is she my best friend?
Whatever Jenny is, Rita is exactly opposite. Just kidding, but Ri is definitely something else. Full of attitude, determination, strong headedness, confident and oh so unique. She may come across as cold and hard but deep down she is unmistakably kind hearted, loving, and is the best person to speak to when you need to see your life in a different light. Most memorable advice? ‘Minh, don’t spend your life sleep walking - wake up and live it!’.

Best friend 3: Huong Le

Nickname: Huongie

Where did we meet? Tutoring classes (outside of high school)

First impression? Generous (she gave me 40c to make a phonecall to my bf at the time hehehe)

One word to describe? Sneaky

Why is she my best friend?
If anyone has a mouth on them, it is definitely Huong Le. You wont meet anyone else who is a fighter like Huong is. Nothing will be left unsaid if Huong is around, especially if it needs to be said (and I totally mean this in a good way). But on a more serious note, Huong has been there for me through everything, especially when I was at my lowest point. We’ve had funny times, cheeky times and some sneaky times. But they have all been good times!

Best friend 4: Thuy Danh

Nick name: Thuy Danh

First impression? Desperate to be my friend

Where did we meet? Master of occupational therapy course

One word to describe? Butch

Why is she my best friend?
Thuy is seriously the most practical and level headed person I have ever met, and she is younger than me. There hasn’t been a time when she couldn’t offer me some sort of solution to some sort of problem. She can come across as insensitive, blunt and straightforward but if you dig a bit deeper you will find that Thuy is one of the most thoughtful, considerate and caring person you will ever meet. 　 　 　 　 　 　 　

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If I was to ever win an award - this would be it.

Being vegetarian

So what is the big deal about being vego anyway? I pay my rent, I work hard at my job, sometimes I laugh at people who fall over, and yeah I eat things I drop on the ground when no one is looking but for the most part I consider myself a good citizen and at least I don’t bomb people. So what if I don’t want to eat cows, chicken and fish? It’s like the biggest insult to any meat eater here in London! What is the problem?!

According to ‘Living vegetarian for dummies’ I am a lacto ovo vegetarian, which means I still consume dairy products and eggs. But definitely no meat. To be honest, it hasn’t been that hard really - I don’t even miss meat. In fact, meat was never the issue, it’s the meat EATERS that are the issue. I almost dread every time a meat eater spots my fake meat (which pretty much looks like meat) at a BBQ or at a dinner party. I honestly don’t know how they know… but they know and before I know it they are on to me like a hound to a fox.

“What is THAT?”
“Oh you know, just some quorn sausages”
“You mean fake meat” (at this point they usually wrinkle their nose as if I am eating dog shit)
“Yes”
“You mean you are vegetarian” (here we go…)
“Yeah I am actually”
“But why? why would you do that to yourself??!!” (they say this like they're horrified... as if I am punching myself in the face right there and then!)

This is where I then have to calmly explain that I love animals and that I really don’t want to participate in killing them. Simple right? Wrong. This explanation is never enough. So I am always subject to one or two or three or even all of the following in one night:

“You‘re crazy, no really… there is something wrong with you” (this actually came from a guy who hunts for his meals as sport).

OR

“What do you mean WE are killing them? They live because of US! Animals are only bred for us to eat them! In fact, if you really loved animals you would be supporting them by eating them to ensure their survival . You‘re contributing to the extinction of animals! You actually hate animals” (I actually didn’t know what to say to this fucker at the time. I wish I had kicked him).

OR

“But meat is so tasty….mmmMMmm Chicken…smell the goodness, you know you want some. Look at me eating the chicken” (This is Thuy trying to tempt me to eat the bloody chicken)

OR ( and I have to say this is personally my favorite one so far)

“But what would pigs do without us to eat them? They would lead such meaningless lives, all they would do is live in their filth, eat their own filth and just be plain dirty. We give them purpose!” (Yes C, what would pigs do without us to eat them because without us they would definitely build themselves a pig pen with mud and then lock themselves in it to live in their own filth, eat their own filth and just be plain dirty).

OR

“No you may not cook your fake meat on our ‘BBQ for meat only!’ You’ll contaminate the meat!” (meat eaters can be so cruel)

OR

“Vegetarians are stupid” (Ok so no one has actually said this one yet, but I know you meat eaters are all thinking it!).

Being vegetarian is no piece of cake.