Minh Lee

Just you take a look at what has happened to my body since I have started the Jamie Eason body building program.

Move over Bruce Lee, it's Minh Lee now!

Ok maybe I am exaggerating a tiny bit. I guess my guns aren't as big as Bruce's and I guess my 'abs' is really just one ab and I guess I am not that lean and yeah ok I guess I don't know kung fu either. Although, I would like to point out that I do have more of a chest than that!

But I am starting to have a wing problem.

Yes. A wing. Two chicken wings on either side of my torso. This will not do. It goes against my vegetarianism ways. I need to change my work out plan and I need to do it quickly before I become she - man. To make matters worse, that smiling muffin top is still hanging around.

She man with the bloody muffin  

Darn that brat muffin. Never mind, I will find another workout plan that is vegetarian friendly and muffin top free.

Can of sardines - the love story

The word 'marriage' gives me the heebie-jeebies. Long gone is the girl who used to believe in love at first sight, fairy tale marriages and happy ever after endings. Sometimes I think I can hear her, but she is very faint.

Naive girl
Missing, presumed dead.

That was about the same time I realised that I would most likely not own a hovercraft either. Tough year that was. 


But growing up does this to you. You discover things that you wish you hadn't. Like the fact that in Australia, every third marriage ends in divorce. It is a sad and very scary statistic for me. Unfortunately, it is just the world that we live in these days. 

"I'm leaving you, Gilbert. You can keep the bowl, but i'm taking the water and all the coloured stones!"

But I am lucky because just as equally, if not more, I often come across inspirational love stories which strengthen and restore my faith in marriage and long ever lasting love. Infact, I see one everyday.

My parents. 


They bicker all the time. Do this, do that, I do too much, stop talking, what are you talking about, she's your daughter not mine, you tell her to get married...etc etc. Nothing major, just everyday petty bickering. 


On this occasion, both were tired from another day of work. Mum was putting dinner together and nagging dad to take the bloody garbage out. Dad did do as he was told but not without complaints mumbled under his breath. Something about women and how they would never cope without men. At this point, mum turned to me and said "That's what he thinks, I'd be better off without him. Less cleaning!". 


It only got worse as dinner was served. Dad did not like what mum had prepared and decided that he would rather eat a can of stinky sardines than what she had served. No really, he actually does enjoy stinky sardines. So he went to fetch himself a can of sardines,  tomato sauce flavour. 


Now dad has become more dottery with age (bless him), so there he was in his blue pin striped pyjamas trying to open this can of sardines with a ring pull top. Being an OT, I really should have stepped in at this stage and whipped out a ring pull can opener or something OT like that. But I didn't because I was watching him tackle this can of sardines with great amusement. I know. I am going to hell, tell me about it.


Finally, he approaches mum who is sitting at the dinner table wearing her fluffy bright pink pyjamas. Together, they devise a plan to open this can of sardines. I can't remember what words were exchanged exactly, but it was some intense planning. Ok no no no you hold it. Yes, you hold the tin and I'll grip the ring. Who the hell thinks of these designs. Terrible. Ok are you ready? Now wait, let me peel this back slowly, evenly. Yes good steadying. Alright, it's opening it's opening, it's opened! 


It was brief, but I saw them look at each other with real love. Both parents in funky pyjamas grinning at each other ridiculously, adoringly and happily. All because they had opened this stinky feral can of sardines together. 

The can of sardines before it was conquered 

They resumed their seats at the dining table and then continued to bicker. Woman, you should buy cans that are easier to open, well go buy it yourself next time, why are you so cranky...etc etc.


Sometimes I will wander into the living room and find them squished on to a single sofa seat fast asleep. On other occasions, I have seen dad stick his tongue out at mum and act like a complete goof to make her laugh. My heart smiles when I see mum sneak a cheek kiss for dad when she thinks no one is watching. They have been married for 35 years and they can still act like teenagers in love. 


It gives me hope.

Moral of the story:

 Keep a good supply of cans of sardines (with the ring pull top ) and funky pyjamas. The success of your marriage will depend on it.

Picasso! Warhol! Jazz! drunk...

7:05 pm Arrive at the Art gallery with time to spare before the Jazz performance begins. 


7:15 pm Drop by the cocktail bar for some well earned wine.


7:20 pm Greet and compliment the bartender on his well kept beard. 


7:25 pm Delighted bartender recommends a glass of Chardonnay. Yum. Crisp and light. 


7:30 pm Jazz performance begins. I sit back and think to myself what a perfect way to end the week. You can't beat listening to a good live jazz band prior to viewing some amazing artwork on a Friday evening.


7:35 pm Converse with Jenny Tham about the beauty of jazz, the theories behind artwork and how wonderful the wine is. We definitely need to do this more.


7:40 pm Drunk


8:00 am Wake up in bed with the horrible realisation that I am late for work


I am not sure what happens really. I always reflect the day after when I am feeling a bit precious and I want nothing more than a cuddle. I try to figure the precise moment it happens. The moment your vision is distorted, when your speech becomes a bit slurred or your cheeks feel like they are on fire and then all of a sudden everything you drink seems to taste 'really amazing'. It is all over red rover by the time my brain figures it out.

I look back and think to myself, I should have seen the signs and then maybe, just maybe I would not have had that extra drink which tipped me over. Ok you got me, I would not have taken that extra sip that sent me over and then maybe, just maybe I would not have killed all those stick people either. I don't even remember the artwork, just a whirlwind of campbell soup, colourful imagery and distorted paintings of animals. Then bed.


I'm glad that I will be visiting the exhibition again when the Yankee arrives. It will be like my first time again. I might just hold off on that one glass of wine though.


Oh and just look at what I found in the urban dictionary:

Cadbury (ˈkædbərɪ)
Noun

1. A person who is easily affected by alcohol
2. Any individual who cannot hold their liquor
3. Minh

Who is more red?

Go figure.