Chapter 2: Right. Down to business.

The holiday (short lived) is over. Now to get me a life here in London.

I thought I’d initially focus on sustainability and making new friends, two components which I feel are essential to having a successful life in London.

1. Sustainability

I guess having a source of income would be a good idea.

London is expensive and I am a girl who likes to spend. I can tell you a comprehensive list of things I need to buy (note the need, it isn’t ‘wants’ it’s ‘need‘) but unfortunately I can’t tell you a comprehensive list of occupational therapy assistant (OTA) positions going in London. Until my HPC goes through (to work as an OT), I am stuck in a rut. Fortunately, I managed to score an OTA position with the hounslow wheelchair service. This will do for now. (I know I don’t sound appreciative, but in reality I nearly cried with relief when I got the position and practically kissed their hands and feet! Phew! I can continue to financially support my eyelash extensions!).

2. Making new friends (housemates don’t count)
This might be problematic since I can be quite shy, not much of a talker and apparently when I do speak, my stories are not interesting (thanks C for the critique). I think I solved this problem by installing the shut up button on my iphone.

The second potential problem which I can foresee is the reliability of my ‘friend’ filter. When alcohol is involved, everyone is my friend. Yes. This includes the crazies too and there are plenty of crazies here in London. I obviously need to set up some sort of system to sort the crazies from the not so crazy from the normal. If only there was an iphone application which could do this in a second. Some sort of face scan. It would save the unnecessary investigative conversations ( ’Soooo… are you into killing people, like random oriental people you meet in pubs?’) . With the iphone scan I could just walk up to potentials and be like ‘Please look directly here. Now keep your head still and your eyes wide open, you might feel a burning sensation as the laser scans your eyes. Not so long now, just keep still a little longer…a little longer. Oh damnit I moved, I’m sorry we need to do that again’. All the application would then need to say out loud is either ‘Warning! Crazy person ahead!’ or ‘Safe for befriending!’. I guess for those of you (like me) who would like that extra bit of confidence in managing difficult situations (where a crazy person is involved) - you could opt for a deluxe version of the app where it could offer advice like ‘1. Wait until subject has his/her/its back turned. 2. Make your escape quickly, quietly and preferably with style through the back door. 3. Whatever you do, do not look back.’ I think this could be a potential niche market. But until that app is developed, I guess I’m going to have to rely on my not so reliable ‘friend’ filter. Lucky I have Thuy around.

Down below is a picture of the first friend I made at Clapham North pub. I found her on her own. She then followed me to the next bar and gave me her number. I think she was normal, she was just alone, dancing alone and I think I saw her talking alone. That’s normal right?

My first friend Carmela and me (obviously drunk happy)