Being vegetarian

So what is the big deal about being vego anyway? I pay my rent, I work hard at my job, sometimes I laugh at people who fall over, and yeah I eat things I drop on the ground when no one is looking but for the most part I consider myself a good citizen and at least I don’t bomb people. So what if I don’t want to eat cows, chicken and fish? It’s like the biggest insult to any meat eater here in London! What is the problem?!

According to ‘Living vegetarian for dummies’ I am a lacto ovo vegetarian, which means I still consume dairy products and eggs. But definitely no meat. To be honest, it hasn’t been that hard really - I don’t even miss meat. In fact, meat was never the issue, it’s the meat EATERS that are the issue. I almost dread every time a meat eater spots my fake meat (which pretty much looks like meat) at a BBQ or at a dinner party. I honestly don’t know how they know… but they know and before I know it they are on to me like a hound to a fox.

“What is THAT?”
“Oh you know, just some quorn sausages”
“You mean fake meat” (at this point they usually wrinkle their nose as if I am eating dog shit)
“Yes”
“You mean you are vegetarian” (here we go…)
“Yeah I am actually”
“But why? why would you do that to yourself??!!” (they say this like they're horrified... as if I am punching myself in the face right there and then!)

This is where I then have to calmly explain that I love animals and that I really don’t want to participate in killing them. Simple right? Wrong. This explanation is never enough. So I am always subject to one or two or three or even all of the following in one night:

“You‘re crazy, no really… there is something wrong with you” (this actually came from a guy who hunts for his meals as sport).

OR

“What do you mean WE are killing them? They live because of US! Animals are only bred for us to eat them! In fact, if you really loved animals you would be supporting them by eating them to ensure their survival . You‘re contributing to the extinction of animals! You actually hate animals” (I actually didn’t know what to say to this fucker at the time. I wish I had kicked him).

OR

“But meat is so tasty….mmmMMmm Chicken…smell the goodness, you know you want some. Look at me eating the chicken” (This is Thuy trying to tempt me to eat the bloody chicken)

OR ( and I have to say this is personally my favorite one so far)

“But what would pigs do without us to eat them? They would lead such meaningless lives, all they would do is live in their filth, eat their own filth and just be plain dirty. We give them purpose!” (Yes C, what would pigs do without us to eat them because without us they would definitely build themselves a pig pen with mud and then lock themselves in it to live in their own filth, eat their own filth and just be plain dirty).

OR

“No you may not cook your fake meat on our ‘BBQ for meat only!’ You’ll contaminate the meat!” (meat eaters can be so cruel)

OR

“Vegetarians are stupid” (Ok so no one has actually said this one yet, but I know you meat eaters are all thinking it!).

Being vegetarian is no piece of cake.