Black listed

"You are on our black list, you are actually banned from using our services"

The silence that met the room was deafening. I swear I heard the lady behind me take a sharp inward breath of air. I felt like all eyes were now focused on me as I stood at the desk. All waiting for my response.

Blacklisted. Wow. What comes to your mind when you hear that word?

Banned. Criminal. Terrible. Bad person. My overactive imagination went hay wire. I could actually picture men dressed in tuxedos and women wearing elegant gowns, each holding a glass of champagne, peering down through their spectacles at me. I could even hear what they were saying to one another;

"Oh she's one of those people, wouldn't want to associate with her my dear".

"Imagine that! How could she commit such an atrocity!"

"Well I certainly would have never allowed that to happen in my time!"

"How could her mother allow her to do such a thing!?"

"Presposterous!"

All this flashed through my mind in a instant.

"Ahem" I cleared my throat. "Um..."

I could feel everyone lean in closer to hear how I could possibly justify my situation.

"Well um, are you sure that that is my information you have there?"

"Well I have input your information on to the system exactly as it is written here on your passport".

The lady was now looking very hard at me.

"Oh of course. Yep. That's me of course. Can't hide from that picture. Ha ha..." I finished off lamely.

I was met with total silence.

So I asked her what the crime was.

The victims?

2 borrowed books. Books that I have never met in my life.

The crime?

Outstanding since 2001 on my library card. How could this have happened?

The punishment?

$32.15 and a stern lecture about how books have feelings too. She didn't really say this. I just added that bit.

But I did get a stern lecture.The worst was doing the walk of shame past those goody two shoes who returned all their books on time. I wanted to tell them to suck it.

Needless to say, I was very embarrased. I didn't know black lists existed at a library, so be wary if you plan to borrow a book. It's public property, don't you know?

I think if Australia permitted the death penalty, the librarians would have ruled for the execution of my library card.

But until then, no book is safe from me.